Health and Wellness Update for 2023

I have really learned and grown a lot this year. Mentally, physically, emotionally, all kinds of growth. From being in and out of romantic relationships to being hurt and broken down by seemingly major events. I can say I have truly learned and grown remarkably this year. 2023 had me on a rollercoaster. I was in a relationship, out of that relationship, single, taken again (this time, in long-distance), my uncle passed away, then I didn't know how to act all summer, made some tough financial decisions, I started college in a long distance, I hung out and drove 5 hours every few weekends, barely made it a week without crying, and I then ended the long distance, and now here I am coping with my second breakup of 2023. Quite a lot huh?

Something I learned and it took me a while to learn was the process of "getting over it". I am so easily brought down by negative situations in my environment that never do I take a second to realize a bad moment doesn't need to be a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, or even a bad year. Taking a single second to just reflect on the negative moment allows me to realize that not everything sucks. It's just a bad moment, don't let it drag on longer than it deserves. But also reflecting on the moment allows me to realize that it isn't easy to let yourself move on but that's what promotes growth. I feel as though to shift from a pessimist to an optimist or however you so choose to think of the concept, requires understanding that your bad moment shouldn't consume your entire 24 hours, or your entire week, or again, month, year, etc. Life is tough and it takes a lot to achieve our versions of success, but being present and not letting these moments get me down has shifted my mindset and made living in the moment a lot easier. I just realized not everything needs to ruin everything. Just get over it and move on. Did you have a bad day or a bad moment that you let take over your entire day?

I listened to an episode of a podcast today in my gym's sauna called "Date yourself instead" by Lyss Boss and it really stuck out to me when she said that "happiness and kindness will attract happiness and kindness" or something along those lines. And it hit me like a truck. I can be known to hold grudges and I certainly am not the best at forgiving. But as I continue to and through 2024, this is something I am willing to work on. Mostly due to the fact it seems as though there is no harm in doing it. I can be negative at times and it can change my entire mood for the day. Maybe by allowing myself to forgive and choose kindness even when I don't want to, I will see some growth in my confidence, overall happiness, and need to people please. I think that by realizing not everyone needs to like me and just being kind to everyone even if I don't want to, I will realize that everybody won't like me, and that's okay.

A little side note- throughout this blog, I am going to try not to associate any negative trait with my Identity. As I read a best-seller book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear, I learned that attaching things to your identity makes you believe that this is you and that you have to be that person. Saying things like "I'm just not a kind person" instead of "I'm not the best at forgiving" will make your mind believe that that trait is your identity, instead of just admitting it may be difficult for you. So I'm going to try to utilize one of the takeaways from this book and try to apply it to my blogs and just everyday life. (I may talk more about this book and review how I feel about it/what I learned in another blog lowkey).

In this same podcast, I learned that boundaries are of utmost importance in just about all your life. Finances, relationships of intimacy or friendships, family, work, etc. I never really think about my boundaries. As I normally like to describe myself as more of a "go with the flow" kind of gal, as I reflected on this year though, I began to see that it only happens in my social life. I am relatively rigid when it comes to workout schedules, planning, and daily rituals. I just seem to lose some boundaries when it comes to my social life. Saying "no" hasn't always come easy for me. I tend to want to do everything, even when I know sometimes I shouldn't, or to want to make everyone happy even though it may not be what's best for me. But I do intend on setting these boundaries or at least figuring out what they are as I go into 2024.

I'm slowly learning how to cope with being alone as well. I hate it. Holidays. Gym visits. Shopping. Being alone during the winter can be so difficult. However, I have managed to come up with a few strategies that hopefully help me through these next few months. I have been reading, as I said I would in my last blog, I have been "self-care daying" quite a lot (maybe too much), and I have really been taking the time to journal and if not journal, at least reflect on each day. I should reiterate, I COMPLETELY, TOTALLY, AND FULLY hate the feeling of being alone, although, being with my family is quite fulfilling and brings me a lot of joy. I don't know what the future brings for me and my relationships, but I don't have any intention of chasing people or meeting anyone new intimately. It took me far too long to realize I am 19 and should have no stress about relationships while I am just figuring out myself as well. And I hate the chase, to be honest. I am such a comfort girly. I love being loved and I am such a lover girl. Which really isn't something I thought of myself as, until I realized, I SO am. I always tend to say I am so uninterested in romance and not much of a "romantic", but I find myself thinking of all these cutie little scenarios. I like to counter my romantic side by saying I hate cuddling and physical touch as well. However, as I went through a long distance and realized I couldn't touch or see this person, (when that was all I wanted to do) I started to think maybe I had myself all wrong here. Anyway, back to what I was saying. I have no intentions of any (other) intimate relationships anytime soon as I try to figure out how I can be an individual and not be attached to someone. This is a harder concept to grasp than some might think when you're the type of person who doesn't like being alone and loves the comfort of having their "person". I am willing to grow and hopefully be stronger and better than ever by the end of this when it comes to relationships of any sort.

Relationships = confidence. Having someone to constantly reassure you and let you know everything will be okay, and you look pretty, and they love you. Oh, that will bring you some confidence. But I have learned that I can't rely on that. Like I said, not thinking about the past, not allowing negative moments to ruin whole days, setting boundaries, or just being a kind and genuine overall person, I believe will help improve my confidence. I have also wanted to start affirmations, I never really believed in these to be totally honest. I thought they were cheesy. But so many people talk about them and I feel like it can't hurt to just think positively about myself right? So I am going to start implementing those into journaling as well. I think it'll be a good way to kickstart my day and it will help me feel good without relying on others to do this for me.

I've been increasing my wins each day as well. This somewhat goes along with not letting a bad moment ruin your entire 24 hours. Just have more wins than losses for the day. Just because I eat a cookie doesn't mean I ruined my whole diet. Just because I had a bad lift doesn't mean I lost all my progress. Just because you forgot to do one of the tasks on your to-do list doesn't make you unproductive. Just allowing myself to realize that just because you didn't do a single or a few things "right" in your day, doesn't mean your entire schedule and journey to success is ruined. And this I realize with myself a lot. I found myself thinking if I did one thing "wrong" or not as planned in my day, my whole day was just lost. However, the day is always going to be a loss if I continue to think like this. It's just about having more wins. You don't need to not have any losses, you just need to have more wins. That's how I plan to win my day. (I got this concept from my dad, which I am sure he got from a podcast)

Going off of this. There is no RIGHT way to do anything. It's MY life, so I am going to start living it MY "right" way. I am so sick of telling myself the right and wrong ways to do things in my life. There is simply no right way to a lot of things in life, just do what you feel is best for you and what your gut feeling is telling you to do. In this case, I feel as though every time I go with my gut, I never end up unsatisfied in the long run. But instant gratification can get a lot of people to not go with their gut. Your gut could be telling you not to eat a whole cookie cake because it will make you feel bad about yourself, but a lot of times when you binge eat that cookie cake you feel good until you don't. However, maybe if you had taken the time to listen to your gut and portion what you felt was necessary (in your gut) in the long run you would've felt better about yourself and got what you wanted. (This was just an example if you don't feel bad eating an entire cookie cake by all means I am not one to judge)

I have learned that I want to build new habits as well. This is what got me reading "Atomic Habits" anyway. I just want to be the best version of myself that I can be. I want to present myself well and be organized. I don't just want to talk the talk I want to walk the walk. This is such a goal for me going into 2024. I am going to pre-plan my workouts and just make everyday schedules because I lose my mind during chaotic moments (or even minor inconveniences honestly). I need to learn to stick to my habits and that's what I think reading this book is helping me to do. I have been doing small things to start, like making my bed, keeping my room clean, picking up after myself, drinking a gallon of water a day, running every day, etc. But I also know there are so many others I intend to work on like eating healthily, journaling regularly, planning, making to-do lists, sticking to what I tell myself I am going to do, etc. I really want to hone in on these new habits during 2024.

I hope that 2024 brings so much love, joy, happiness, and organization for my sake. I believe that I really am shifting my mindset slowly and I cannot wait to see what this year will bring. I want to value every moment I have with my friends and family, and just take in the present. I don't want to dwell on the past and be anxious or sad. It means a lot that I have to ability to enlighten myself with books and different strategies that may help me and I intend to not take these strategies for granted.

12/23/23 @ 11:15 pm